Wednesday, March 6, 2013

I am loud



Surprise, surprise.

I received this letter after my neighbor complained with my landlord, about loud noises in my apartment. First, let's talk facts:

-I have been living in the same apartment for 6 years
-The dude that lives next door has been there for 2 years and never complained about it
-When I have sex, I am loud and I like it.

But something changed. One  night I was with someone in my apartment and let's say things got a bit out of control. Sex was intense, long and extremely enjoyable when suddenly, I heard a really aggressive knocking coming from the other side of the wall. We both jumped  out of bed because we didn't know we were being that loud and because it was completely unexpected. (we also laughed a bit, too)
The following week I received this letter on the mail from my landlord and immediatly I addressed the situation face to face with my neighbor, who seems pretty reasonable. I stated the facts:

-I have been living here for 6 years and nobody ever complained before.
-YOU have never complained about it.
-Loud sex it is not the type of complaint the city of New York and the judicial system will take seriously.
-I suggest you move your bed to the other side of the room, so it is not against my wall.

Then he answered:

'I just got married'

'Oh wow' 'Congratulations' I said.

(Translation: 'Married? and you brought her to live in this studio apartment where there are very thin walls and you have a neighbor -a chick- who happens to enjoy sex -apparently- more than you two?')

I felt kinda bad. But also, I didn't feel I have to apologize for my lifestyle and much less because we both have to tolerate some stuff, up until to a certain degree. I have to listen to them talking ALL the time, running around the apartment, laughing out loud, grunting (yes, grunting) his opening and closing the door 20 times a day, plus the clumsiness on a daily basis where they always seem to bump into something at 6am, that falls to the floor and make an excruciating noise.

I don't know, suddenly it seems sex it is a sin for some and should be 'punished'.
Alright. I want to be punished. I promise to be loud, once again.




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