Thursday, October 29, 2015

This is a man



1- The one that can't believe you are talking to him but rather takes it slow with poise,  and knows that a smile or a good conversation in a room full of hotter dudes -that have been eye-fucking you- won't mean that you will perform the Kama Sutra on his face the same night.

2- The one that is smart enough to feel, that you may.

3- The one that won't charm you with the expectation of a life you clearly won't be part of, although he once thought this was a killer tactic 'to get in yo' pants mama'

People. it takes a lot to impress me. A huge dick, for example.

4- The one that after you slept with him and shared some big 'Lifetime' moments (yes, the ultra-uber-insanely corny network. Think of Steel Magnolias on a fucking Trazodone binge, and no food) and the same week still will call you with a casual 'whats up girl, what are you doing tonight?' and won't expect that you do a replay or be offended by the fact that you have other plans at somebody else's bed... for example?

This is the same man that the following week, fearlessly, will ask you out again.

5- The one that doesn't call you 'cause in his asshole heart, he knows you are better off without him, BUT will find the way to let you know about it.

6- He whom knows that after that late night you went 'downtown', and both of you are SURE that you are not that into him, but in spite of it will remain courtly and gallant, and also will be this guy who is accepting it with dignity and won't be offended by the fact that you were just horny.

FYI those are the best nights to bump into me.

7- This guy who can embrace his own awkwardness and will have a blast sharing it with you.
8-  The dude that is gracious when you introduce him to the whole city that has been your boyfriend.
9- The one that does not make any decisions for you i.e I am not sure she likes me that much.
10- The one that is sure no matter what, that I am a fucking romantic, loyal, faithful and full of admiration for him, particularly in the mornings while I am being handcuffed.


Thursday, October 22, 2015

Savages




I call him savage.
 
... and the reason is very simple: we shared around 10 hours of exquisite raw sex.

Not only I had no hope for this twenty something boy, but this particular time I was not actively searching for anything: sweet or bitter. Or hot. Or heavier. Or rough. (or so I thought) I was just contemplating these new group of humans in a new city, in a new country.

At the bar, middle of August, full summer after dancing all kinds of 90´s classics, we stood in front of each other -all sweaty and agitated- and did not exchange a word until it was time to go somewhere else. Bar lights went on, 'O.K guys time to go home' (its equivalent in French) and the boy  asked me If I wanted to join him for a walk. (Hey, you gotta at least admire he was a bit creative)

 I accepted.


We ended up going to his friend´s place who was out of town. There were pieces of a messy human being, dishes with unfinished cereal, glasses, a half eaten clementine, some bananas a couple of days after their time.  I sat on the part of the couch that had no bags, clothing and papers on it. He offered me some water, followed by some random small talk and then there it was... that recognizable and mute glimpse that clearly says 'I want to fuck your brains out' followed by some silence, and then his 21 year old lips pronounced: 'I wonder how it would be like to kiss you'. To which I replied, getting closer to him and grabbing his chin 'I can help you with that.'

At first he seemed too eager and anxious. It took him exactly 30 seconds to get on top of me. I was immediately reminded of those high school encounters, charged with heavy breathing, clumsiness and desperation and the impending curiosity to feel anything that could mean going further. He lifted me up and took me to the bed (also full of crap). He pulled up my skirt and took  my underwear off and proceeded to lick me. This time he was assertive, slow and had that precise rhythm that this delicate piece of anatomy requires.

Happy Birthday to me.

Hours into the game, and what it must have seemed like days for patient neighbors, the boy wouldn't stop. I didn't want to either, I found a new 6 feet 5 inches lot where I could just do it all. He allowed me to play what I pleased, as he played with me, while we continued the devouring rituals.  We slipped over each other, and from time to time drops of salty, transparent water fell over my cheeks and then it was like a stream that wouldn't end running. I decided to completely surrender to the water, the salt, to the constant dripping almost hurting my face.

I stuck my tongue out so I can only (and intentionally) barely touch his lips.  Words that come to mind now: slower, closer, surprise, push, switch, tease=GAME.

Savage appetite was only fueled by the fact that this body was extremely foreign to him, as his was to me and I must add, while lost in the long swaying, there was a pact of vanishing in both our eyes that concurred: no fear, no future, no past, no intention, no harm.


He was an easy one that would gladly get lost in his body and somebody's but also, It took another encounter for me to learn that Savage, was one very dirty (and scary) boy. VERY.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Enjoying me



Thanks to someone that follows my blog and asked about it yesterday, I thought it was only fair to return his care in the form of some words and for me a way to remind me how much I love filling out this box. If you must know, I have been dealing with packing, giving stuff away, unpacking, tracking and arriving in another country. Then, my mother's illness her doctor´s appointments, her treatment and overall turning my life around. However,  that doesn't mean I have not been enjoying the pleasures of my body.

But let's see where did I leave the last time. After the naked police officer, I came to Colombia and of course I met old lovers. Easy to think that those old flames could somehow be revived and give way to a new story. It should also be known that old patterns from some of them haven't changed and for the love I want to grow, those cannot be there anymore.

New stories can't start with recycled feelings.

I was invited to a party by one of those 'old flames' I must say that I arrived with a guy that was visiting and with whom I had a very short affair. By short I mean one night. Hey, don't judge I also love to visit places and have the option of some 'local love'. So, the one who invited me to this party was surrounded by dudes (I said yumm) and there was one that I set my sights on. I proceeded to toy with the visitor, to occasionally lock eyes with the host, and definitely put on the moves with the new dude. The foreigner decided to retire -not before letting me know how close he'd rather sleep with me that evening- and went back home, safe (and untouched) to his girlfriend. The other two stayed, so I had to make the best of the situation: I wanted the two of them (hahahaha) BUT I knew my friend wouldn't go along with that, so the least I could do, was to play my cards right.

Host and I get pretty hot and heavy at the bar. Host asked me to go home with him. Host and I had one epic body battle in bed.

Next day, I really wanted to see his friend. (and please, and again, save the judgement: I don't have a boyfriend, If you are a dude I am as hungry as you, and I also belong to the party of S.L.G (See, Like, Get) 'cause people in the love quest, time is of essence.

So I wrote to the new dude. Asked him out. He said kinda yes, then hours later, changed his mind. I knew exactly these things: 1) He liked me 2) He is one loyal motherfucker, and I do respect that. 3) If he knew beforehand, after this revelation, he will never be at the same place with me and his friend.

Never.

Friend of the epic battle finds out. Friend got pissed. Friend cannot face me and wouldn't talk to me which I only found out months after getting but silence from him. 

In all honesty, I am not arrogant when it comes to apologizing when I know I am in the wrong. But this is not the case.  If I don't act like I feel I can, I would be completely incoherent. Unfortunately for some 'traitor' is it not a word I use very often to talk about myself.

This is in part my definition of enjoying me (with you).